Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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