cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
