Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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