my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
