she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
her vagine was all disorganized.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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