i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
