Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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