***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This toilet bowl is my home.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
