Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
