I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize