Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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