Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
