that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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