his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
