I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
