Do you still have your period?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
