just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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