Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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