Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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