when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
