A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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