i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
