would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
