dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
