This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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