Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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