Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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