some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
