Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
