I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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