I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
