i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
