I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
