ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize