I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
