So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
