My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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