His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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