Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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