It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Found the puke drawer
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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