I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
