Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
