The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I supernannyed him into submission
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