i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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