dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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