Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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