Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He kissed a someone with a penis
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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