I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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