I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
