i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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