she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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