You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
