My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
