I must be too annoying 4 u.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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