i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
