i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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