you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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