Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
