then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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