Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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