U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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