suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
soo... how was my night?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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