just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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