I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
