ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
