oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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