Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
