I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
