so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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