matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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