My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
