Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
