Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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