He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
